Dear Mortals

The Olympian Gods have decided to part ways with humans and this is their message to us:

'After a few thousand years here on earth, we have decided to end our stay on mount Olympos. Since you are pro-natal and prioritise human capital, our neighbourhood has become insufferable. The palace windows are permanently closed to keep out the incessant exhaust fumes and noise. 

Zeus is no longer relevant as top god since his masculinity has proved problematic. The forests are now so sparse, that Artemis is unable to perform the sacred hunting ritual.

So, we decided to give Kepler-1638 a go. It is 4973 light years away because we would like some distance from you.'